Mr. Johnson sits alone in the janitor’s closet, typing on a Raspberry Pi.

No computers or rolling pins were harmed in the making of this episode. However, the marquee now plays the ‘Bad Apple’ music video on loop. No one knows how to turn it off.

Okay. We just need to take the input.mp4 of the welcome message, and run ffmpeg -i input.mp4 -vf scale=1280:720 -c:a aac output.mp4 .

But that’s fine! Because we have a genius solution. Gregory, tell them.

Jacob, that sounds like a cat walked across a keyboard.

I fixed a VCR in ’89 by blowing into it. FFmpeg is just a fancy way of blowing into a computer. (beat) I respect it.