Research in organizational psychology suggests that women who set firm boundaries are rated as less "likable" than their compliant peers. The Deluxe Bitch has made peace with this. She does not trade her self-respect for your comfort. As the actress and producer Issa Rae once put it, "I’m rooting for everybody Black," but the Deluxe Bitch would add: ...as long as they’re rooting for me right back, with receipts. Let us be clear: this archetype has a shadow side. A true Deluxe Bitch never punches down. Her assertiveness is a shield, not a sword. The moment she uses her clarity to humiliate the vulnerable, gaslight a partner, or bully a subordinate, she ceases to be deluxe. She becomes simply another tyrant with good lighting.
A standard "bitch" (in the derogatory sense) reacts. She is loud, reactive, and often exhausted by her own defense mechanisms. The Deluxe Bitch, however, proceeds . She is a master of strategic silence, razor-sharp wit, and the art of the graceful exit. deluxe bitch
By Vivian Cross