Gun-toting Ant - [better]

No one. Possibly terrorists with very small hands.

The gun is glued to the ant’s thorax. This is not ergonomic. The ant drags one side of its body, leaving tiny, furious drag marks across my countertop. I’ve seen it try to climb a vertical wall. It spun helplessly like a broken ceiling fan. Gun-toting? More like gun-dragging. gun-toting ant

Gun-Toting Ant ( Formicida armatus ) Price: $19.99 (plus shipping, handling, and liability waiver) Rating: ⭐ (1/5) – Would give 0 stars if I could The Pitch “Tiny. Angry. Armed.” That’s the slogan on the box. The idea, apparently, is that you receive a single live ant (species unspecified) outfitted with a custom-fabricated, microscopic firearm. The ant is “trained” (their word, not mine) to defend your picnic, desk plant, or sad leftover pizza slice from intruders. The Reality Where do I begin? No one

Within an hour, El Chapito had formed a militia with three other ants from under the fridge. They now guard the toaster with a zeal that is both impressive and terrifying. I cannot make toast without a written negotiation. This is not ergonomic

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