The most shocking conclusion? They need the mother who apologizes after yelling. The mother who orders pizza because she is too tired to cook. The mother who cries in the car, then walks in with a hug.

The most fascinating twist in this review is the work of pediatrician and psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott. In the 1950s, he coined the term the "good enough" mother . He argued that a perfect mother is actually a bad mother. Why? Because if a mother is perfectly attuned 100% of the time, the infant never learns frustration, resilience, or the ability to wait. The baby never discovers that a fist can be a toy.

This topic is not a gentle parenting guide. It is a psychological thriller about the invention of an impossible woman.

Winnicott suggested that failing —occasionally being late, misreading a cry, dropping a spoon—is the secret ingredient to healthy development.

In the end, the only thing "perfect" about motherhood is the way it perfectly reveals our shared humanity—flaws and all.

To review the topic of "Perfect Mothers" is to read a ghost story where the ghost is the self we can never become.

But after reading the psychological literature, scrolling the mommy-wars trenches, and examining the cultural history of this icon, one must ask: