Inside the car, bodies press against bodies. A man in a gray hoodie is watching a video of a woman teaching him how to fold a fitted sheet. He will never fold a fitted sheet. A woman in blue sneakers is scrolling through photos of a wedding she attended three years ago. She is smiling, but her thumb moves faster than happiness. A child, maybe seven, is staring at the window. She is not looking at the tunnel walls. She is looking at her own reflection, and she is trying to decide if that girl in the glass is a friend or a stranger. You almost say something to her — she is a friend, she is always a friend — but the train brakes, and the moment passes, and you are unaware again.
You wake up, and the first thing you notice is that you don’t remember falling asleep. This is not unusual. What is unusual is the quality of the light — a flat, mercury-vapor gray that pushes through the blinds like it has no interest in being beautiful. You rise. You brush your teeth. You check your phone. Forty-seven notifications, none of them for you. Not really. Algorithms have learned your name, but they’ve learned it the way a parrot learns a slur — with no understanding, only mimicry.
At work, you sit in a cubicle that was designed by someone who read one article about Scandinavian minimalism. The screen in front of you glows with spreadsheets. The numbers are fine. The numbers are always fine. A colleague stops by to tell you about their weekend — a hike, a craft beer, a near-miss with a deer on the highway. You hear the words but not the music. You smile. You say, “That sounds nice.” They leave. You cannot remember their face. Not because you are cruel, but because the city has made recognition expensive, and you are saving your attention for emergencies that never come. unaware in the city v45
You cannot remember.
After work, you wander. This is the part of the day the algorithm calls “leisure,” though it feels more like a pause between anxieties. You walk past a bookstore with a display of novels about people who fall in love in small towns. You walk past a gym where people run on machines that go nowhere. You walk past a man sitting on a milk crate, holding a sign that says, “I was unaware too. Then I looked up.” You look up. There is a pigeon on a fire escape. The pigeon is unaware of you. You are unaware of the pigeon. The man on the milk crate laughs, but the laugh is not for you. It is for someone who passed by ten minutes ago. You are already late for that laugh. Inside the car, bodies press against bodies
But here is the thing about unaware in the city v45 : the fact that you are asking the question means you are no longer unaware. The question itself is the looking up. The question itself is the crack in the sidewalk. You are not the protagonist of a cold iteration. You are the one holding the script, even if you forgot you picked it up.
And that will be version forty-six.
Evening comes the way it always does — not as a sunset but as a dimming of screens. You return to your apartment. The walls are beige. The bed is unmade. You pick up your phone again. You scroll. A friend has posted a photo of a mountain. Another friend has posted a quote about being present. A stranger has posted a video of a cat falling off a chair. You watch the cat three times. It falls the same way each time. You laugh the same way each time. This is not tragedy. This is not comedy. This is the background hum of a life that has confused proximity with connection.